O man o man what a crazy month this has been... I was so excited for my trips Bobby and I were going to Mesquite and Jenn Marley and I were going to COlorado but of course life works in wonderful ways and that wasnt my destiny.. I was at work 1 wed and I was talking to Joel our busser and I started to feel a little nauesous so I was going to the bathroom and the next thing I know I am waking up and its night time and I am in The ICU with tubes up my nose... I had fainted at work and hit my head on a table and fractured my skull in 2 places an ambulance came and took me to the emergency room they had to cut off my clothes which I am sad about i loved the shirt I was wearing. I guess I woke up while they worked on me and asked for bobby, then I was laying there and asked the doctor why the fuck my head hurt ha ha OOPS... I couldnt believe it, my hospital stay was ok I became friends with my morphine drip and almost slapped the plhembotomist that woke me up at 5 am to draw blood for the 10th time GRRRR!! No but I did realize how lucky I am I have an amazing family and an incredible boyfriend and so many selfless caring friends... Thank you for everyone that came to see me, it helped me so much!! I loved all of my flowers they helped brigthen my cold white room of death ha ha... I stayed in the ICU for 3 days and finally I was able to be in a room more friendly and Bobby was able to stretch out on a couch rather than 2 chairs he stayed with me always I can not believe how amazing he was and still has been.. I was so excited when they moved me into the other room cause I was able to go to the bathroom by myself YAY!!! I wasnt able to really eat in the hospital it was a shitty diet plan I couldnt wait till I got to eat... They let me go home on SUnday and I was so excited That night I ate pizza and I loved it, but then my back started spasming and has been ever since I have been back to the hospital twice since i have left and I have never felt so much pain its not even my head that is the problem, it does hurt and the clot in my right ear prevents me from hearing but when my back spasms and buckles my legs and I have to be held up while pain rips through my body I want to give up... Last night I fell to my knees when I tried to get up because I was in so much pain and i had to lay on the floor until Bobby got off work because no one was home and I couldnt get myself up... It has been horrible and I am trying to stay strong I am trying not to think I am a bad person and I deserve this but sometimes it is hard... I have already missed a almost 2 weeks of work and I am out this week as well I am trying not to be stressed but the bills dont stop just because I am injured... Hopefully the chiropractor tomorrow can help me align my back or cut off my legs ha ha NO way I wouldnt like that after the 1st day ha ha ha... No I just want to be better I want to feel alive again I want to not depend on a drug to calm the pain just so I can function minimially... Who knows how long this will last but I will try to stay in touch more and sorry for making everyone worry, but thank you so much for caring...