O man o man what a crazy month this has been... I was so excited for my trips Bobby and I were going to Mesquite and Jenn Marley and I were going to COlorado but of course life works in wonderful ways and that wasnt my destiny.. I was at work 1 wed and I was talking to Joel our busser and I started to feel a little nauesous so I was going to the bathroom and the next thing I know I am waking up and its night time and I am in The ICU with tubes up my nose... I had fainted at work and hit my head on a table and fractured my skull in 2 places an ambulance came and took me to the emergency room they had to cut off my clothes which I am sad about i loved the shirt I was wearing. I guess I woke up while they worked on me and asked for bobby, then I was laying there and asked the doctor why the fuck my head hurt ha ha OOPS... I couldnt believe it, my hospital stay was ok I became friends with my morphine drip and almost slapped the plhembotomist that woke me up at 5 am to draw blood for the 10th time GRRRR!! No but I did realize how lucky I am I have an amazing family and an incredible boyfriend and so many selfless caring friends... Thank you for everyone that came to see me, it helped me so much!! I loved all of my flowers they helped brigthen my cold white room of death ha ha... I stayed in the ICU for 3 days and finally I was able to be in a room more friendly and Bobby was able to stretch out on a couch rather than 2 chairs he stayed with me always I can not believe how amazing he was and still has been.. I was so excited when they moved me into the other room cause I was able to go to the bathroom by myself YAY!!! I wasnt able to really eat in the hospital it was a shitty diet plan I couldnt wait till I got to eat... They let me go home on SUnday and I was so excited That night I ate pizza and I loved it, but then my back started spasming and has been ever since I have been back to the hospital twice since i have left and I have never felt so much pain its not even my head that is the problem, it does hurt and the clot in my right ear prevents me from hearing but when my back spasms and buckles my legs and I have to be held up while pain rips through my body I want to give up... Last night I fell to my knees when I tried to get up because I was in so much pain and i had to lay on the floor until Bobby got off work because no one was home and I couldnt get myself up... It has been horrible and I am trying to stay strong I am trying not to think I am a bad person and I deserve this but sometimes it is hard... I have already missed a almost 2 weeks of work and I am out this week as well I am trying not to be stressed but the bills dont stop just because I am injured... Hopefully the chiropractor tomorrow can help me align my back or cut off my legs ha ha NO way I wouldnt like that after the 1st day ha ha ha... No I just want to be better I want to feel alive again I want to not depend on a drug to calm the pain just so I can function minimially... Who knows how long this will last but I will try to stay in touch more and sorry for making everyone worry, but thank you so much for caring...

Have you Ever?

SO I am just having one of those days weeks months (I dont really know the time span) where I just feel overwhelmed and I fall easily into a form of depression.. I never knew that irritability was a sign of depression, but a few months ago I was always angry no matter what and I thought that it was because of my job,(W) man that job sucked, but this attitude I had towards life was so negative and I was destroying my relationships with friends and I knew I needed a change so I quit that job and I broke down and talked to my mom and realized that I wasnt alone both her and my sister had been through the same thing yay for genes! but I did feel better knowing there was an answer. I made an appointment for my doctor and started at the salon... I will admit that the salon helped a lot, I was finally in the career that I wanted and I knew that I could only grow in this career... I went and talked to my doctor and she suggested a couple vitamins for me to take, but I thought that I was ok, cause I hadnt been angry for a couple weeks maybe it was my old job so I didnt buy the vitamins... So I went to see her about a month later to see if my birth control was helping maintain my mood swings and in a way I believe that it helped balance things but it wasnt a cure so she gave me the list of vitamins again and I went and bought them and I have been taking them everyday (8 total UGH!) I still have days when I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep or cry, or nights when I just freak out for the littlest things and inside I know what I am doing is ridiculous but the anger wins and I just let go all this rage that I didnt even know I had left? It has come less often and I believe that the vitamins, no aspartame, and the physical activity I am trying to do more of has helped but I just want to be able to say that I am truly happy (mostly within myself) I have a great life, and I have been pushing some certain people out of it blaming them for my unhappiness when really it is me that needs to be blamed... I just wanted to thank Bobby he is my rock he has been there through this whole thing and he is not going to give up on me so I need to stop trying to push him away! I wouldnt know what to even do if I didnt have him! I love you BOBBY! I have great friends that I am realizing that do love me and are there to listen.. This has definitely built my relationship with my mom too it is a nice to talk to someone that has been through it and doesnt think I am crazy.. Right now I am trying to work through it without a prescription but my happiness means a lot to me, and if I need to I will do what I need to. I am trying to start writing more it helps me to get my feelings out on paper it is a sort of cleanse! I am also writing 5 things I am grateful for everyday and I may repeat some things :) I just need to remember everyday to be positive about myself, i need to think good thoughts when I look in the mirror and stop focusing on the bad I cant always be a size 4 and I know that I need to accept it.. I am happier knowing that Bobby will love me forever big booty or not ;) but I am done with the crazy not eating phase and killing myself at the gym it is not healthy and NO ONE should make you think that it is.. I need to realize there is more to life than the "perfect Body" I depended on it for way too long.. This is going to be the hardest struggle it is something I will most likely deal with for the rest of my life but hopefully I can stay strong and overcome the fear of being happy and love myself.. I am sick of putting on as front and always knowing deep down that I wasnt being completely honest.. I am just done pretending anymore, it is too hard to keep it hidden, because it will always come out sometime and its not worth it.. Thank you for all of the people that have been there with me and for me. I know that it has been a struggle but I promise one day it will all be worth it!

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
Benjamin Franklin

COME IN FOR A NEW FALL STYLE!

HEY EVERYBODY...
I JUST WANTED TO POST A LITTLE BLOG TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I AM A STYLIST AND FOR THE UPCOMING FALL SEASON I HAVE A FEW PROMOTIONS I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER NEW/EXISTING CLIENTS...
NEW CLIENTS: i WOULD LIKE TO OFFER 20% OFF SERVICES FOR YOUR 1ST VISIT
EXISTING CLIENTS: i WOULD LIKE TO OFFER MY EXISTING CLIENTS A FREE HAIRCUT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REFER 2 PEOPLE TO ME!!
SO IF YOUR HAIR IS DRIVING YOU CRAZY, OR YOU ARE JUST READY FOR A CHANGE LET ME KNOW... I AM ALWAYS LOOKING TO BUILD MY CLIENTELE AND TO MAKE PEOPLE HAVE THE HAIR THAT THEY HAVE ALWAYS WANTED...
I AM CURRENTLY WORKING AT A SALON IN DRAPER, IT IS CALLED SALON HOPE AND THE ADDRESS IS 12300 S 863 E DRAPER UT (WE ARE RIGHT NEXT TO THE FONGS CHINESE RESTAURANT..) YOU CAN EITHER CALL ME, LEAVE ME AN EMAIL OR MESSAGE OR JUST CALL THE SALON!! SO LETS MAKE A CHANGE AND GET YOU A NEW STYLE FOR FALL! THANKS AND I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU...

MEGG
SALON HOPE
801 694 9909
801 576 8300
LILMEGGERS19@HOTMAIL.COM